Sunday, July 10, 2011

Delayed Heartbreak and My Latest Obsession...

Hello, world!!!! Hope everybody is doing well! I, unfortunately am not. I'm afraid I've become ill from a delayed reaction of breaking up with my boyfriend almost 3 months ago. We still love each other very much, but now he told me he's sort of seeing someone, and he's taking it slow to see where it goes. I became infuriated and upset, and for the past six days now I have been an absolute wreck! Hardly eating or sleeping, not being able to sleep until the early hours of the morning (between 6-9), crying, screaming, arguing with my mom, and perseverating. He is my first love and my first adult relationship.  He even he called himself somewhat of a loser. He told me he knew that my mom and Dillon and everybody were telling me that he wasn't the right one, and he told me he knew I could be with somebody so much better than him. He kept saying that we met when we were both at a point when we needed somebody in our lives. He told me I inspired him and changed him and how he wanted to be a better man for me, and how I was always there for him no matter what. The last time I saw him when we said good bye, he was crying. Not bawling, but I saw him tear up on the way back to my house and again once we got there. 

We finally had a heart to heart on Friday (Friday for me, Saturday for him). Basically it was me telling him how much he means to me and how much I love him and him telling me he loves me as a friend now, he told me he thought it wouldn't be fair to me if I carried on something long distance when he couldn't be here. He started consoling me because he knows I'm going through a hard time with so much going on, and before I left I told him he would always have a place in my heart and my life even if I'm not in his. I also said I'd rather have his friendship than his hatred and he asked why would he hate me and I said "It's because I love you so much." I asked him if he planned on permanently staying there and he said the only way he'd be able to stay in Australia was if he married a girl that lived there, and he doesn't plan on getting married until he's in his 30's. So that means that he's definitely coming back. Except earlier when I asked him if he meant we were gonna be just friend's for now or for forever and he told me who knows about forever. Although, he said that that girl wasn't his girlfriend :D ;). Hahaha

On the other hand, my new obsession: Luke Wilson! MEOW!

Hahaha he's been the flavor of the season ever since Taylor left. I never realized it how much Taylor looks like him. Kind of in Old School and when he has the shorter hair. Sooooo sexy, hot, gorgeous, I'm drooling just typing this sentence! Besides his looks, Luke is a really great actor. He's SO underrated. His performance in The Royal Tenenbaums was stellar, I love it!!! It's a really wonderful movie. It wasn't until Bongwater where I REALLY lost it. Luke's character was just like Taylor! The way he dressed and was a pothead and an artist and his body movements. The ironic thing is, Taylor has actually met Luke Wilson. Lol. I shouldn't be watching his movies because of how they remind me of T, but again, he's the flavor of the month! HOT DAMN! He definitely is somebody that can give me a cartoon reaction. You know when you stop dead in your tracks and your jaw drops and your eyes bulge out of your head and you make a combination of different sounds: There's the fog horn, the whistle and then the car horn. You know "Aougha-Aougha-Aougha" or "Hubbita Hubbita Hubbita WOW!" :P  Lol I'm writing a new screenplay, it has a very Wes Anderson feel to it. I'm excited to continue it, it's become very theraputic. Well, I'm feeling tired, I just got done working out for an hour and a half. I'm going to go to sleep (I hope I'll actually be able to fall asleep). Before I go, here's some pic of Luke and the cartoon reaction, but which guy do I look better with? My ex-boyfriend Taylor or Luke Wilson? :P Let me know. Good night moon, good night world! Ciao, until I write again <3
Elana Jade Rebel

                                                          Here's the cartoon reaction :P
I found this picture when I was looking for the above picture, and I just thought it was utterly adorable!!!! <3

Who's the better pick for me and who do I look the best with?

                                                       A. My ex-boyfriend Taylor


B. Luke Wilson (I think he likes what he's looking at. Hahaha! Jkjk :P)

LET ME KNOW!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3


  1. Lol... All I can think of I Luke Wilson in anchorman. Sorry to hear bout the split. I'll never forget losing my first love n real relationship. Def. One of the worst times of my life... I generally can't do the friends thing, but that's really cool if u can! Hang in there and know it gets better!

  2. Ohh so sorry babe,but trust me you'll rise from it!It happened to all of us and we survived!You're such a good girl and you deserve only the best!
    Following your blog!;)

  3. I completely agree with Borjana and Josh.
    You will survive.
    Take care and mostly listen good to youre heart.