Friday, April 19, 2013

R.I.P. Samuel Levine: It's been a month, WHEN DOES IT STOP HURTING SO BADLY? ;"(

Hello, World!

It's NocturnELLE. It's also been quite a while since I've blogged. I've been meaning to, but I kept getting sidetracked and distracted. Unfortunately, I come to blog today with the intention of venting and remembering.

Wednesday, March 20th, 2013 10:45pm
While watching Chicago Fire, I saw a picture on the news of a young man. At first, he looked familiar. Then, I decided he looked like my friend, Sam. At that moment, I realized that IT WAS SAM, which lead to me seeing the byline on the bottom: "USC STUDENT KILLED". My heart went into a lurch and my mind stopped. THE WORLD STOPPED. For a split second of foolish denial, I thought this was some kind of elaborate prank, but I dismissed that silly thought when I told myself "No, you f**k*ng moron, HE'S DEAD!" I fell to the ground from the couch and started screaming and crying, immediately calling my mother. I could barely speak the words as I sat there, sobbing my eyes out. She thought I said it was my father and she called him (At this point, J., my father's wife, came downstairs attempting to find out what was wrong.). I called Mom back shortly after and was able spit it out "THAT WAS SAM LEVINE, SAM'S DEAD!" She said "Oh, my god! That was him?!?" and I could hear her voice cracking as she said the words. It's taken me so long to finish this post because every time I am close to it, my eyes begin to water as I type this out when I SHOULD be in bed or doing something else (depending on the time). I forgot to mention that I was at my father's house spending the night because I was accompanying him and his wife J. to a Tony Robbins retreat  THE NEXT DAY. I found this out at 10:45 and ended up crying from then until about 3:30 in the morning when I finally fell asleep. I was so hysterical I had to take half a Xanax just to go to sleep, only to be woken up 3 hours later by my dad blaring girl AND boy band hits from the '90's as part of his power workout.

Sam was on spring break with his USC frat brothers in Cabo San Lucas, where he was room hopping and ended up on a fiberglass air conditioning vent. The fiberglass couldn't hold his weight and he crashed through it, falling six stories to his death. Sam was one of my ONLY true friends in high school who was kind and looked out for me despite being friends with the popular crowd. We had a conversation almost a year after we graduated and he told me he knew I was going through a difficult time in high school. He admitted to me that he was upset with himself that he never took it upon himself to do something about the way I was treated, how the other boys and girls treated me differently than he did and that he hated it. We were very close, but we never hung out a lot due to schedules and social ridicule. I remember our Senior Year that Sam took out a whole page in my yearbook, something that NOBODY had EVER done in ANY of my yearbooks and something that I ALWAYS WANTED. He always wrote the most genuine things in my yearbooks that touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes. I wished I had them right now, for they are locked in storage. Our last conversation was on his birthday, two weeks before he died. I happened to glance at some previous conversations we had on Facebook, he told me he was proud of me with all the work I was doing towards my career and to never give up, no matter how small the acting part was. He really did believe in me, like a true friend. HE WAS A TRUE FRIEND TO ME.

I've posted some pictures I had of Sam over the years. I had to go through my high school photos to find these, which was difficult because it conjured up other painful memories. I also have a couple recent pictures of him from his memorial Facebook page, which was also very emotionally difficult to obtain. 

                                          Sam with Curry and Brandon 2006
                                                       Sam and Nicki 2007

My Sweet 16 02.24.2007
February Rally 02.08.2008
                                             Random House Party 03.13.2009

These are a couple of the last pictures that were taken of Sam. The final picture is one that a friend of our's from high school named Tiana Dafesh drew.  

  As much as it kills me to say this, I did not go to Sam's memorial service on Wednesday, March 27th. I am an incredibly strong person, and have the scars from the battles I've emerged from in my 22 years, but I could not bring myself to go. I went on a 3 mile walk that day, blasting my favorite songs from the Les Miserables motion picture soundtrack ("I Dreamed A Dream", "ABC Cafe/Red and Black", "On My Own", "One Day More", "Do You Hear The People Sing?", and "Epilogue", the latter REALLY making me cry.) which made me walk faster and faster, trying to outrun my thoughts. I honestly felt like a freaking zombie on The Walking Dead, waiting for Rick Grimes to do away with me, so much so that I almost got hit by a car walking past the cemetery by my house. How's that for irony?

I was told by a friend that Sam's basketball jersey was laid across his casket and that his parents were sobbing audibly throughout the whole service. When I read that, I ran in my room crying. I only met Sam's parents once, but I could vividly picture this scene as if it were happening right in front of me.      

While I was away at the Tony Robbins retreat, I found that Ellen Mahoney, a popular yard guard at our high school, passed away 4 days before Sam did. Ellen was another protector from the piranhas of the social scene, who greeted me every day with a smile and a hug. 

It didn't matter that Sam and I didn't hang out all the time or were members of different social groups, we had a special bond. A bond that was unscathed by opinions of our peers. I wrote the below message the next day on my Facebook and Instagram.

"I am completely and utterly devastated that my dear dear friend Samuel J. Levine suddenly passed away while on springbreak in Cabo

Sam, you were such an incredible human being and a true friend to me. We didn't hang out a lot, but you were always there when I needed you and you always cared. Wonderful, genuine, stand out, sweet, driven, intelligent, compassionate and pure of heart are some of the words to describe this young man who never looked down at anybody or based his perspective of a person on what those around him thought. He was a person people looked up to. A gifted athlete, a great student, a terrific son, and a honest friend. You really were one of my only genuine friends from high school and our friendship strengthened over the past 7 years. You believed in me and the fact that we'll never see each other or speak again is completely heartbreaking. I once told you that no matter where our paths traveled, you would always have a place in my heart and life. You were always an angel to me, now you're an angel in heaven, Sam R.I.P."

I remember our junior year, Sam and I made a pact that we were going to see Led Zepplin if they ever went back on tour again. When I was driving home the other day, their most famous song "Stairway to Heaven" came on the radio. I believe in signs and superstitions, so I considered this a sign.

                         Wednesday, April 17th, 2013
I finally went to visit Sam's grave today and say my good byes privately. It was a little exasperating because when I went to find his grave, the receptionist told me about how there was a big crowd for the burial (which I wasn't at, but how would that help me when it's been 3 weeks since the memorial?). She had to have two of the workers show me where he was (right in the front) and they were kind of lingering around, it was odd. It all hit home when I saw the temporary marker that stated Sam's full name and his dates, my heart sank. I brought him purple tulips with a white ribbon tied around them. In the language of flowers, purple tulips symbolize royalty, pride, dignity, sincerity, loyalty, and heartfelt sympathy. A white ribbon symbolizes innocence and peace. In all honesty, these were qualities that were possessed by both Sam and our friendship.  I sat there holding the bouquet and talked aloud for a while, ending with reciting the song I had written for my musical. I was just about to leave when the gardeners came out of nowhere and surrounded me. I was annoyed over that and they seemed a little aloof, I was worried they were going to run over the flowers! I was grieving, couldn't they have waited until I was finished?!? I kissed one of the flower bulbs and the ribbon before I set the bouquet down (I had to move them three times because of the gardeners.).

To whomever is reading this, please be sure to hug somebody. Parents, hug your children. Lovers, hug your mates. Whoever it may be, be sure to do it, because you'll never know if you'll have the chance to do it again. Hug them to show how much you love and care for them, their importance in your life. If you are grieving or sad, whatever the reason may be LET IT ALL OUT!!!! CRY, SCREAM, THROW SOMETHING, BLAST YOUR MUSIC TO THE HIGH HEAVENS! GET IT OUT, AS LONG AS IT TAKES!!!! DO NOT LET ANYBODY TELL YOU OTHERWISE!!!!  The pain subsides a little bit as each day passes, even though it may not seem like it. It was REALLY difficult not being with my mom when I first found this out. I felt so alone while I was away because everybody around me was very apathetic. 

                         Friday, April 19th, 2013
It has been a month to the date since Sam died. I'm very discombobulated and still heartbroken. I have my good days, but then it will hit me that he's gone and I start crying. It's this sharp shooting pain, like a lightning bolt has stabbed me in the heart and it sinks in. All I want is for it to be easier, to be able to smile and mean it, to believe and be hopeful. I still keep hoping that I'll wake up and it won't be true, that Sam will be only a phone call or text message away, but I know that it's unrealistic. Sam, you were and will always be one of my best friends, the world seems a little bit darker now that you're gone. I know that you're up in heaven, with your beautiful smile and handsome face, looking down and watching over myself and all of us whose lives you touched. My mother told me that maybe you were like my guardian angel while you were here, and now that you're gone, you're my guardian angel in Heaven. On my shoulder, in my heart, in my soul, never to be forgotten. I love you and I'll see you on the "Stairway to Heaven". Led Zepplin forever <3

I end this with two things. First, an article that The Daily Mail in London did about Sam's passing, which quoted me. 

I have closed my blogs with playlists before, but this one is for Sam, and filled with songs that I've been listening to since he passed or that reminded me of him, or my sad songs in general. 

"Tears in Heaven" Eric Clapton
"Slipped Away" Avril Lavigne
"Time Of Your Life" Green Day
"Stairway to Heaven" Led Zepplin
"Wish You Were Here" Pink Floyd
"Drive" Incubus
"Hallejuah" Jeff Buckley
"Summer Sunshine" The Corrs
"Friends" Elton John
"Paradise" Coldplay
"There You'll Be" Faith Hill
"You'll Be In My Heart" Phil Collins
"Somewhere Out There" (Both movie version and Linda Ronstadt and James Ingram version)
"The Sound of Silence" Simon and Garfunkel 
"The Times They Are A Changing" Bob Dylan
"Without You" sung by Mimi and then Roger in the musical RENT 
"Ho Hey" The Lumineers
"Heaven" Bryan Adams
"Yesterday" The Beatles
"While My Guitar Gently Weeps" The Beatles
"Beautiful Boy" John Lennon

Goodnight, World. Until I blog again...

Elana Jade Rebel <3

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Delayed Post Part One: Dancing With The Stars Finale and R.I.P. Uncle Brian

Hello, world! Sorry I haven't blogged in such a long time. A lot has happened since my last post. So much has happened in the past almost 5 months, that I'm going to have to do a date-by-date of the important events that occurred since my last post on November 22nd, my True Blood post. My life would change forever hours after that post. 

                                   November 21st, 2011
My mom took me with her to camper today so I could get my shoes and dresses for Dancing With The Stars. She also had to take Uncle Brian to get his tires fixed because he and my baby cousin Kyle were going to Oklahoma later in the day. When they came back, my mom and I left and my uncle asked if I tonight was the night I was supposed to go. I said yes and he said "Elana, don't flail your arms back and forth like an ass on TV! We'll find you, don't worry!" and then he was messing around with me on giving me my aunt's new number. Who would think that this would be the last time I ever saw him... After that, my mom and I went to the storage to get some more things. Long story short, we got into a fight and she took off. Bree was working, so I had to get ready all by myself and I had a slight malfunction with my dress: my slip kept popping out.

After Grandma dropped me off, Sierra and I went to Dancing With The Stars for the finale!!!! We were seated in "The Zone", which is like right next to the staircase where they all run up to get their results after they dance. We saw SO many Celebrities! Nancy Grace, Chaz Bono, Carson Kressley, Mark Ballas, Chelsea Kane, Tristan MacManus (I squealed when I saw him. "OMG IT'S TRISTAN!" Hehehe), Maksim and Val Chermikovsky, Kirstie Alley, Hope Solo,The Kardashian Klan (BLLLEEECCCH!), and some of the cast members from All My Children. We got to dance on the dance floor again and we saw Maksim and tried to rush to get a picture but it was too late. I told Sierra that this really was a once in a lifetime experience, and she said it was a "TWICE" in a lifetime experience :) IT WAS! We saw Roger, the audience coordinator who gave us the passes last time, and he was so thrilled to see us that he announced us to the entire house!!!! That was awesome! Every time the couples ran up the stairs we would tell them they did a great job and such-in-such. Ricki Lake said "Thank you so much!" after her second dance and Karina and J.R. thanked us after both of their dances. I didn't think Rob's second dance was that great, and J.R. was totally jilted with the scoring on his first dance. Here's a video of both Rob and Cheryl and J.R. and Karina's second dances, which you can see me in! 

Rob Kardashian and Cheryl Burke: Freestyle to "Minnie The Moocher" by Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
4:00-4:04 I'm on the left side in the white dress!

J.R. Martinez and Karina Smirnoff: Freestyle to "Whine Up" by Kat DeLuna
4:24-4:27 Me again (Yeah, I know I look bad!), and like a dumb ass, ON THE PHONE!

I forgot to add that I was able to sneak my phone in. Sure enough, I got caught and was forced to delete the picture and video I took! I was so embarrassed, but I was rather polite and immediately complied with their orders, I wasn't going to put up a fit like the lady that was there the last time we went. There were 65 other people that had their phones out in the open, and I was the only one that got caught. WHAT A GENIUS!... NOT! Lol oh well, you live and you learn, but at the time I was so embarrassed I cried when we left! Lol here's a picture of Sierra and I at The Grove after we left. She's such a great friend, Love you sugar! 

                                       November 22nd, 2011
Today was just a normal day. I still hadn't heard from my mom. I went for a jog with Bree in the park, passed out, blogged about True Blood, then in the late afternoon sat on my ass and watched Toddlers and Tiaras and then All American Muslim with my grandma and Bree. We decided that we'd watch the DWTS finale and tape it so I had both shows. I had to rush and take an online quiz for my class before NCIS started. 

This was around 7:30 pm when  my cousin Kyle called Bree and told her that he hadn't seen their dad (Uncle Brian) in over an hour and a half since they sat down to dinner, that he wasn't feeling well and that he said he went to get something to drink but he never came back. Grandma saw she had a missed call on her phone from an Oklahoma area code. Bree called and it was a recording for 3 different hospitals in Oklahoma. She had to call all 3 of them and I think the last one was the one he was at, and she told Kyle to get there ASAP, and then asked me to get ahold of my mom to see if she had talked to my aunt, Deena. I called her and told her to go to Deena. When Kyle got to the hospital, they wouldn't let him see my uncle, but told him to go to the family waiting room and that somebody would be with him shortly. Grandma said that that wasn't good news and was crying. 

Suddenly, I hear Bree cry out "KYLE COME HOME!!!!" and start bawling, and then she told us that Uncle Brian had had a massive heart attack and died instantly. Grandma collapsed to the ground crying and I was just in shock (Not just over that, but I was still taking a test. I rushed and finished to join my family. I still can't believe I got an 84%) but started to cry, and then my other uncle, Ira, came out of his room and started crying (and I thought he was mocking us, but he wasn't.) I had to be the one to tell my mother that her baby brother died. I could hardly get the words out "He's gone... Uncle Brian died." and I just started crying. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. It's not the same as telling her that Whitney Houston died (which I actually did a few days ago- bottom line is, there's a VAST difference). 

Of course, I couldn't get a hold of my father, so I had to text his wife and all she said was OK when I texted her telling her that my uncle died. I FINALLY got my dad on the phone and he was SO nonchalant about it, that you would think that I told him that SOMEBODY ELSE'S uncle died. "Oh wow. Oh really? Oh that's terrible. I'm sorry." and apparently he told me to have my mom call him (I had to hang up because my platonic aunt Kathy was on the other line), but I can hardly remember. I just had to tell my mom that her brother died, excuse me for being a tad frazzled and shaken up. What the hell was wrong with both of them?!? All she writes is "OK." and he could care less?!? He's known my uncle for over 25 years, HOW DARE HE! 

My mom told me not to cry in front of Grandma, because my mom was worried that she was going to have a heart attack. Mary, Grandma's neighbor across the street and one of her best friends for over 47 years came over right away. Then Tonio, Bree's bf at the time came over, then Janna, Cait, Amanda, and Andrew, Bree's friends (that are also my friends through her, except I know Andrew the least) all came over also. Everything was in such a frenzy, all Bree wanted to do was to get to Kyle, she wanted to see her baby brother. Everybody rushed to find Bree a flight and get her packed. Some dude named Nick came over to Aunt Deena's and said he worked for the Coast Guard and could get Bree and Deena a flight (He's full of shit and everybody was pissed at him). Then, Kim and Corey came over and then Jim Schooler. Corey is Kyle's best friend and Kim is his mother and my aunt's best friend. Kim's fiance, John, was one of Uncle Brian's best friends. Jim Schooler has known Uncle Brian since they were teenagers, but they hadn't talked in a while. I thought he was this other guy named Jim that my uncle knows. Anyways, then Jordan, Bree's ex boyfriend, came over (Nick tried to say that he called him and that he DGAF'ed, but that's a bunch of bullsh*t).

Bree was making some comment about how now she had a 16 year old son to raise, and Jim Schooler told her to be quiet and act like a lady. I don't know what the hell happened, but the instant he said that, Bree and I simultaneously looked over at each other and gave this look like "Did he really just say that? WTF??" It was definitely cosmic, I swear. I don't care if I sound crazy, it's true.  Bree had to go over to Aunt Deena's and I wanted to see my mom so she said I could come with her. Cait and Janna drove us over there. Bree kept making jokes and all that but then kept crying. Before we left when we were in the driveway, Bree held onto Jordan for a really long time and was crying. She's not a very affectionate person, so I didn't know when to hug her. 

When we got to my aunt and uncle's, I had my mom meet us outside. We both ran into her and started crying in her arms. Janna walked up and my mom pulled her in for a hug, too. My mom hugged Cait also, I had to introduce them (Mom's met Maddie, Cait's adorable Mini-Me daughter, several times before). Janna told Nick to leave that he shouldn't have been there because it was PERSONAL. There were a bunch of people there. Linda Hogan (Yep, THAT Linda Hogan. She was a friend of my aunt and uncle's), was there with her boyfriend Charlie (who helped my mom get back in the camper because Jagger locked her out), Aunt Deena's dad and her middle sister Chrissy were there also, Kim and Corey had gotten there right before us and of course John was there, and Nick and Mercedes, his girlfriend. My aunt was just laying in the dark, crying. Like I said in my speech at his memorial a few weeks later (this is included in Part Two of this post), he was the love of her life, and she was definitely the love of his. Bree just kept hugging my mom and crying. 

I write this obviously knowing my cousin my whole life. Essentially, she is my sister. Sometimes, I love her and sometimes I can't f**k*ng stand her. At the end of the day, whatever's happened, it doesn't matter because we're still a family. I've seen her at her worst and at her best, but I have never seen her like this before. What I'm saying by this is is that even people that are somewhat sheltered and have a guard up eventually bring it down. It's rather unfortunate that this was the way it happened. Brian was always there for Brianna, no matter what. He was her father, her best friend, her confidant, her hero. I also write this with knowing that I don't have a great relationship with my father, but Bree and Kyle did. He was definitely their hero. 

During the middle of all this, I found out that J.R. and Karina won DWTS. Amy and I promised each other we wouldn't look early, but I needed something to soften the blow. Congrats, J.R. and Karina!!!!

I couldn't help but think of something that happened to me a couple a weeks before my uncle died. There's this girl named Gracy that I have taken my required acting classes with at school for almost 2 years. We didn't talk so much in Beginning Acting, but we ended up talking more in Intermediate Acting and Costume and Makeup Design I (before I had to drop it). She actually turned out to be a pretty chill and motivated girl but kept telling me stories that I believed to be far fetched. I have pretty much been cursed when it comes to partner/group projects for classes because either nobody picks me or whomever I ask IMMEDIATELY has a partner upon me asking them, so this reared it's ugly head in Intermediate Acting because our final was to perform a 3-5 minute scene from a play with a partner. Gracy approached me and asked if I had a partner and when I said no she told me that I had one now because it was going to be her and gave me a hug. I was really touched and I thought it would be an interesting to work with her, which is why I selected a scene from The Bad Seed for us to perform. Shortly after that, she kept either leaving from class or not showing up at all. I texted her one day and she told me she spent the previous day (SUNDAY) in the E.R. having emergency tests done because she has a brain tumor. Not knowing what to believe, I wished her good luck and to contact me if she needed anything, then asked if I should tell our teacher Don anything. Gracy's reply was "Just tell him that I'm dying and may need to be dropped from class." That was the moment that I was pretty sure this was all a joke. How could somebody be so nonchalant and cavalier about a BRAIN TUMOR? It's one thing to pretend you have a cold or something to get out of school, but it's a completely different thing to fabricate something so serious. Our mutual friend Posey (who is rather gullible) believed Gracy because her mother had a brain tumor also but survived. I happened to tell my friend Mora and she said that Gracy is a liar and that she wouldn't put it past her to be making this up. Luckily, I was able to get to Don first (Apparently Gracy told Posey to talk to him as well, but she would have just ended up sugarcoating it) and tell him the story, and the odd look on his face once I finished said it all. Even he agreed it didn't sound entirely accurate. Gracy never came back and whenever I've asked her about the whole thing she is completely oblivious and in denial. This is why I would NEVER EVER fabricate something as serious or in the same degree as this in attempts to obtain sympathy and recognition from it.

                                     December 10th, 2011
Today was my uncle's memorial. My friend Jason and my Aunt Kathy came to support my mom and I. We all spoke (Aunt Deena, Grandma, Uncle Ira, My mom, Me, John and Kim and Keith my uncle's best friends, my cousin Kyle and Bree) and there were a lot of laughs and tears. Afterwards, Bree presented her video and of course it was a tearjerker, especially the last song, "Slipped Away" by Avril Lavigne. It's such a beautiful song and Avril is so gifted. I've been choreographing a waltz routine to the song since I heard it, but every time I start working on it I start crying. Will I ever finish it? Here's Bree's tribute video, she did such a great job and I'm so proud of her. I've also included a couple of pictures of my uncle. I want to write more about him, but I feel like I'm going to start crying. Maybe this won't be as hard one day, but I hate the feeling like something's missing and then I remember. I hope one day I'll be able to write something remarkable about him instead of so mundane. He was such a blast and a really fun guy, freaking hilarious, always making prank calls in funny accents. He was also very popular and I definitely fulfilled a wish on his bucket list by smoking pot with him haha. He always took an interest with whatever I had to say, whether I be blabbing about my guy problems or it was watching True Blood and all the Real Housewives series. I later found out after the memorial that he HATED the Real Housewives series, but rather just watched them to have something in common with me. Like I stated earlier, my final memory of him was before I went to Dancing With The Stars, and I'll always remember it.

                                             Thursday, March 15th, 2012
Let's just say, things have become really discombobulated for my cousin. There's been a lot of arguing over money and such-in-such between her, my aunt, and cousin. Now, some of my uncle's "friends" are getting in the middle of it and sticking their noses in when they shouldn't be. My cousin finally got the guts to send my aunt a letter she's been writing to her over the years, and I am so proud of her. I stand by her side and support her in her every endeavor, unless it's something truly dangerous. She's in a lot of pain, she lost her best friend, her confidant, her hero, her partner in crime. Brian was all she had. Her mother got into an accident when she was a little girl that made her pretty much brain dead, so she pretty much just had her dad and my mom and grandma as her mother. In essence, she is my sister. I hope this all resolves itself sooner than later. Family should stick together, NO MATTER WHAT. Except my cousin and aunt are being terrible towards Bree. Here's some pictures of us from Christmas. 

My 21st birthday party got ruined by some creepy guy and Richie Incognito of the Miami Dolphins picked up the tab, so I'm most likely going to have a second birthday party (especially since my mom wasn't there for this one). I'm one of the lead hair and make up artists for the school production of Chicago as well as working on the EATM (Exotic Animal Training Management) Spring Spectacular Show! I'll be writing about all that soon. 

As always, I'll close with my tagline regardless of the current time it is:
Good Night Moon, Good Morning, Morning World. Until I blog Again

Elana Jade Rebel<3

Tuesday, November 22, 2011


Hello, world! NocturnELLE once again, blogging rather early for myself! Hehe so I'm sorry for the delay on the August Concerts and True Blood Season 4 finale posts, I've been swamped! I don't care HOW belated this is, I'm doing it anyway! I was going to put it all together, but it would have been incredibly long. So, here's the second half


FINALLY ON TO TRUE BLOOD! This was definitely the season finale that had True Blood fans all around the world screaming their heads off and sh*tting their pants. With every finale we're left on the edge of our seats as to what will happen in the premiere next season. Except with this finale, we've fallen off our seats onto the floor and in deep anticipation. This next almost year will be crucial. To think I thought this would be boring compared to the episode before this, which was incredible! It's only been about two months and I'm still in shock. It was so sweet in the beginning to see Sookie and Tara eating breakfast together and talking about one day being grandmas sitting on the porch with their grandbabies. It tugged at my heart to see Sam burying Tommy (I was so sad to find that out, IT BROKE MY HEART! It was the first time I think I've ever seen Sam cry), and Maxine Fortenbury walks up and says "He was an evil little son of a bitch!" and "We're family! From now on, you call me MAMA!"! Hahaha who can't help but LOVE HER?!? Good thing Luna and Emma walked up to save the day haha. Luna and Sam are cute together, but she's way too easy and aggressive, and I'd rather see Sam with Tara. I wonder what will happen since Sam is surrounded by werewolves at the end... I'm sure he'll be fine. Sam can totally hold his own, especially after the fight in Merlotte's in Season 3 and just him and Alicide teaming up and kicking some were-ass on Marcus and some of his clan. OK! HAS ANYBODY NOTICE THE WAY THEY SAY ALCIDE'S NAME, ESPECIALLY THE WOMEN?!? THEY SAY IT LIKE "AL-CEED-AH/AL-CEED", AND IT JUST SOUNDS SO DAMN WHIMSICAL AND ROMANTIC, LIKE IT SHOULD BE A DISNEY FAIRY TALE PRINCE! LIKE GASTON! "NO ONE FIGHTS LIKE ALCIDE, NO ONE'S SLICK AS ALCIDE, NO ONE'S QUICK AS ALCIDE, NO ONE'S NECK'S AS INCREDIBLT THICK AS ALCIDE'S!!!!! Hahaha thanks to Amy for doing that :D Here's a picture below of Alcide next to Gaston, but he's not a prince, so maybe Flynn Rider, he's not a prince either though. You get the point... Finally decided on Prince Naveen from The Princess and The Frog, even though Alcide isn't African American, it was the only one to prove my point. Should have used one of the sexy dirty Disney Prince pictures, hahaha! :p

Ever since his arrival, I had a feeling that Jesus was gonna be killed off, and sure enough!!!! It was brutal to watch him being stabbed TWICE. "You can't trade magic like f**king Pokemon cards!" Brilliant last liner, Jesus! Poor Lafayette, finally found love and killed him because he was possessed by Marnie. For the fact that Lafayette is a medium, Jesus will always be with him, as he reminded him at the end "I'm dead, dude. You'll see me again." Hopefully, just not like this, because Jesus is a pretty good looking dude ;)

 I kind of pity Marnie, because who the hell really wants to die?? "THIS F**KING SUCKS!" I'm glad Antonia and Gran convinced her not to kill Bill and Eric. Sookie, Tara, and Holly doing that chant thingy while Eric and Bill were tied up shirtless about to burn. and all the dead spirits coming back was INTENSE!!!! After it was all over,of course I couldn't help but laugh when Tara went running over to Lafayette, shaking him saying "Bitch, talk to me! It felt good to see Gran again, but it broke my heart watching Sookie cry and telling her how she needed her and she kind of just nonchalantly walked away, didn't even hug her. Amy, my twinnie, said that was not the REAL Adelle Stackhouse, more of her spirit. She also pointed out something interesting: The fact that she was in her nightgown that she was murdered in but she wasn't buried in it!!!! Lol. And then Eric had to ruin the moment (kind of)..."Excuse me, but we're a little bit crispy up here." HAHA! 

I was surprised that Deborah Ann Koll, the actress that plays Jessica, finally went semi-nude for the first time in all the 4 seasons she's been on TB! She was one of the only actresses that didn't do nudity, but now that's changed. Btw, for the fans that are b*tching on the Sookiverse app for the iPhone/iPad about how they feel "balltrayed" because Sookie didn't pick either Bill or Eric, SHUT UP! I was actually very proud of Sookie that she made that difficult choice. Despite how much we love somebody, sometimes we just need to be alone for a bit to sort things out, because how can you love somebody else if you don't love yourself? The relationship you have with yourself is very important. This all reminded me of something my mother once told me, that it takes a very strong woman to walk away from a man she loves that professes his love to her back. Well, Sookie walked away from TWO MEN THAT LOVE HER, so I think she is Super Girl. 

The sudden death of Nan Flannagan committed by both Bill and Eric was very surprising. "WE ARE NOT F**KING PUPPY DOGS!!!!!" Hahaha I guess Nan had it coming, she had totally turned into a mega-bitch. 

I wonder if they'll ever mention Andy with the fairy in the woods, it was odd how they kind of just threw that in and then left it out. Him and Holly are so cute together, and her fairy costume rocked! What will happen between Eric and Pam? Btw, I found this awesome picture of her, even though it's a little late!


Don't have the best feeling about Terry's war friend Patrick, and I can't believe that Arlene saw Rene! That one made me scream, and I think they felt like they HAD to pick that up since Baby Mikey was "cured" since Episode 9. Interesting yet OBVIOUS twist that RUSSELL EDGINGTON WAS FREED FROM HIS CEMENT IMPRISONMENT!!!! WE ALL KNEW THAT THE COOLEST AND CRUELEST BAMF VAMPIRE KING OF LOUSIANA WASN'T GOING ANYWHERE AT ALL! Another interesting twist was when Steve Newlin arrived at Jason's door as a vampire!!!! STEVE NEWLIN OF ALL PEOPLE?!?!? VANILLA HAS TURNED INTO RED VELVET, PEEPS! I LOVED the way that he just looks down at Jason's package when he answered the door in the nude! He must be think "HOT DAMN! HOT DOG, HOT DIGGITY DOG!" Lol I hope they don't bring the crazy were-panthers back. TARA CAN NOT BE DEAD!!!!! LIKE WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!??!? WE ALL ALREADY KNEW THAT DEBBIE HAD IT COMING! It didn't help that Debbie looked like she just got done snorting coke backstage at a Motley Crue concert. I felt a tad of sympathy when she begged Sookie, but BITCH YOU BROUGHT IT ON YOURSELF! If Tara dies it will REALLY break my heart. Sookie can not go through something like this, not after all she's been through! 

I'm still adjusting to her being gone for a year when it was only 15 minutes!!!! I wonder what will happen between Sookie and Alcide now that she killed Debbie (Since he half hinted rather awkwardly about being with her). It was self defense though. At this point, I couldn't help myself but to go look up some spoilers ASAP!!!! I know I'm bad, BUT COME ON, GIVE ME THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT! All I will reveal (which I knew a few days ago, but the rest I know now), is that filming started yesterday, November 21st, 2011. Rutina Wesley (Tara Thorton) has signed on for Season 5, so Tara isn't going anywhere THANK GOD, and Jesus will be back also. There will be the introduction of some new vampires and werewolves, including Eric's sired sister and Alcide's parents. URGH! I COULD HAVE PLAYED ONE OF THE VAMPIRES! DAMN! They wanted older people in their mid-late 20's, so Amy would have been perfect :) We'll also be seeing some more of Godric, which is always good because he's a cutie pie ;). If you're reading this, Godric, I'm ready for you to turn me ;) Oh, wait... I forgot... he's dead... and it's not real...

Well, that's all I have to say and will reveal. Personally, this may have been the best season finale ever, and I thought the first 2 were the best. I think now I'll have a True Blood marathon. Good Night Moon, Good Night World, Until I blog again and until the next vampire comes knocking...
Elana Jade Rebel <3

Friday, November 18, 2011


Hello, world! NocturnELLE once again, blogging rather early for myself! Hehe so I'm sorry for the delay on the August Concerts and True Blood Season 4 finale posts, I've been swamped! I don't care HOW belated this is, I'm doing it anyway! I was going to put it all together, but it would have been incredibly long. So, here's the first half of my August Concerts and True Blood Season 4 Finale posts!!!! Enjoy! :D

The concerts were absolutely incredible!!!! Ashley, Dana, Dillon, and I had a blast at Katy Perry! The seats were 5th row behind the mosh pit at Club Nokia, so we were pretty freaking close!!!! We went to eat at this little Mexican restaurant first, and I saw my ex gay best friend Sean walk by. I kind of turned away but Dillon said he saw me. I don't really care because I was having an awesome time. I'm not going to lie, sometimes I do think about Sean and miss him, but I guess that it was time for our friendship to end. It sucks, but it's a part of life, people coming and going. I'm guessing he didn't have the best seats, because when Katy Perry brought people on stage from the mosh pit, I know his pushy little ass would have gotten on there. HAHA! Anyways, Katy Perry puts on a PHENOMENIAL SHOW!!!! Her costumes and sets and dancers were incredible, I was speechless. I started crying a little when she was on the swing singing "Not Like The Movies" and these old fashion cartoons were on the big screen behind her. It made me think of Taylor. I still had a fabulous time, except for when Dillon and I got lost from Ashley and Dana when we were buying my poster after the concert,  we tried to go back inside the lobby and the security guards VERY RUDELY THREW ME OUT! Katy had this incredible peacock outfit for "Peacock" and she brought a boy onstage and kissed him before "I Kissed A Girl" She had actual fireworks for "Firework" and at the end she did "California Gurls" and shot out foam and streamers from a huge ray gun and confetti and all that came down from the ceiling, I took so much of it! Hahaha so did Ashley. I've posted pictures below! I don't know if I ever mentioned this, but I'm also a photographer! I've been doing it for about 13 years and I love it! I am constantly taking pictures and my work is quite popular locally. Let me know what you think :)

                            KATY PERRY AT CLUB NOKIA 08.07.2011

Now on to the BUCKCHERRY concert! I got my stitches out the day of the concert but still had to be on crutches. Then my friend flaked on me and I couldn't find anybody else to take the extra ticket I had, so I was doubting wanting to go or not. My Aunt Deena said she'd go with me and I was glad because we hardly get to hang out. Thanks to my dog bite and Aunt Deena, I was able to get ALL THE WAY to the front when I saw Buckcherry. I made a new friend, too! His name is Ryan and he was with his aunt. At the end of the concert, he actually blocked people away so i could grab the set list off the stage! HA! I still need to tape it back together. Anyways, so I was literally inches away from Josh Todd, and he kept looking at me all night! It was so magical! Like a dream come true. Oh, and Stevie D., the bassist with the SGT. PEPPER logo on his bass, was throwing guitar picks into the audience, AND HE PERSONALLY HANDED ME ONE!!!! I WAS DYING! My grandma bought me a frame for it =) Aunt Deena and I were going to stay afterwards to try and meet the band but we were tired, so we all went to IN-N-OUT =) I've posted pic below, the last one is of me and Ryan (Yeah, I know I look horrible! It was so hot inside!)


I really had such a blast and I definitely needed it. So glad I was finally able to post this first half. Part Two, True Blood Season 4 Finale, will be up soon! Good Night Moon, Good Night World, Until I blog again... ROCK ON!!!!
Elana Jade Rebel <3