Wednesday, September 7, 2011


Hello, world! It's NocturnELLE once again! Can't really sleep, thought I would post some interesting thoughts on my mind, posting a little "earlier" than usual. Lol

Have you ever wanted to run out of your own life? Have you ever felt like people can see right through your facade, and that you can never be sure if they genuinely care about you, or you think you're not worth anything. Pet cloning has managed to be perfected, why can't time travel? What would you change if you could go back in time, or what would you want to see? I'd definitely want to see all my favorite musicians in the 60's-80's: THE BEATLES. THE DOORS. THE ROLLING STONES. THE WHO. THE ANIMALS. JIMI HENDRIX. JANIS JOPLIN. THE SEX PISTOLS. MOTLEY CRUE. POISON. This is all so hard for me. With everything currently going on in my life, I'm unable to think and act rationally. I want something new, I am so over some of the things and people in my life to the point where I want nothing to do with them. I feel so forgotten sometimes..

Look at all of the movies over the past century and generation that influenced the ideas of love. Gone With The Wind. Casablanca. When Harry Met Sally. Titanic. The Notebook. ANY DISNEY PRINCESS MOVIE! It's rather unfortunate, that there really are not any Rhett Butlers or Rick Blaines or even any Jack Dawsons or Noah Calhouns or Stefan Salvatores. We need to find our own leading man, our own Disney Prince, our happily ever after. Females wish they could find men that were these romantic heroines, but that's about as likely as finding an authentic pair of Christian Louboutins in the Garment District sold in the same truck as knock off Louis Vuitton and Gucci purses. Our knights may not be clad in shining armor, but their outer couture is insignificant if their inner heart is pure and loving. 


Ilsa Lund (Ingrid Bergman) and Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart) in Casablanca (1942), the NUMBER ONE MOVIE ON AFI'S 100 YEARS...100 PASSIONS
Rhett Butler (Clark Gable) and Scarlett O'Hara (Vivienne Leigh) in Gone With The Wind (1939) the NUMBER TWO MOVIE ON AFI'S 100 YEARS...100 PASSIONS

Jack Dawson (Leonardo DiCaprio) and Rose DeWitt Bukater/Dawson (Kate Winslet) in Titanic (1997), the NUMBER THIRTY SEVENTH MOVIE ON AFI'S 100 YEARS, 100 PASSIONS

Noah Calhoun (Ryan Gosling) and Allie Hamilton (Rachel McAdams) in The Notebook (2004)


Bill Compton (Stephen Moyer) and Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin) on True Blood. Fun Fact: Anna and Stephen celebrated their one year wedding anniversary a couple of weeks ago! Talk about TRUE LOVE! 


I seem to have acquired what is called "Scarlett O'Hara Syndrome". Scarlett O'Hara Syndrome is when men fall in love with you, but DO NOT want to be your boyfriend or marry you. I also have "Good Luck Chuck Syndrome", where 8 out of 10 guys that either only want to be just friends or friends with benefits or just aren't into commitment, the next girl they meet becomes their serious girlfriend. When will I find my next love? :( When I least expect it, right? How come it doesn't seem that way for others?

Speaking of love. I know it's been a while since I've mentioned him, but I still kind of miss T so much. I begged and begged him NOT TO LEAVE. We both kind of knew that he had to though, but why did he have to get back together with that fugly malicious immature conniving mother hippo? I HOPE SHE'S GETTING THE LAST LAUGH. I hate how I KNOW that I'm a strong person and how I'm not showing it because this is hitting me so hard. I hate how he deleted me and although he sent me a message that we are still friends, that horrible woman messaged me!!!! YES. MY EX BOYFRIEND'S EX/NOW CURRENT GIRLFRIEND MESSAGED ME ON FACEBOOK. MAN, SHE REALLY WISHES SHE WAS YOUNGER. Basically, she went on a rant how there is no "keeping it between us" between Tyler and I and that he loves her very much and has for years now. I told her that I hoped this time around lasted much longer and that his head wasn't turned by another young girl and how she should open up her purse every once in a while to air out Tylers balls. She said my jealousy will eat me up in the end and that my words towards her solidify that I'm not his true friend... He wasn't my true friend first when he deleted me AND LET THAT HORRIBLE WOMAN MESSAGE ME!!!!!!!!!I I NEVER REPLIED TO HER AFTER THAT, AND I THINK THEY BOTH BLOCKED ME. I DON'T CARE, BECAUSE NOW I CAN FULLY MOVE ON! THEY BELONG TOGETHER, AND HE'LL COME CRAWLING BACK BUT I DON'T WANT HIM ANYMORE!!!!

Our perfections are rooted from our flaws and mistakes.How do we acknowledge and improve on these imperfections and mistakes? We grow, we change. We tell ourselves that there is hope for a new tomorrow and aspire to achieve personal greatness in our everyday lives. You can't please everybody all of the time, but you can please some people some of the time. We let the sunshine's rays bursting through our windows each morning be that messenger of  new beginnings, a new day. When I went on the Senior Life Skills Retreat almost 3 years ago in high school, we learned this song that says "Put a smile on your face and the world's a happy place." It's so true, because a purely genuine smile can have such an impact. See? :) Hehehe 

On a slightly less intellectual note, I think we all have a little bit of "The Dude" Within us ;) When I say "The Dude", I am in fact referring to "The Big Lebowski. Hahaha. Everybody gets a little lost on the the road to perseverance, and to find the light at the end o the tunnel. There is no such thing as a GPS Navigatior for your life and although we do heed the tales of other's journeys, we all take a different route, and sometimes it takes us a longer time or a shorter time to get there. In other words, I've just checked in to see what condition my condition was in. ;)

 The Big Lebowski

I think I'll watch a movie. Here's a playlist to finish off with. I'd like to dedicate "F**K YOU/FORGET YOU" by CEE LO GREEN and "YOU OUGHTA KNOW" by ALANIS MORRISETTE to Taylor and his mother hippo. KISS MY A-S-S!!!!!!!! Lol :P. Good Night, Moon. Good Night World. Until I blog again...

Elana Jade Rebel <3

                                                           F**K YOU BY CEE LO GREEN

                                         YOU OUGHTA KNOW BY ALANIS MORRISETTE                                         

Songs of the day 
"Sorry" Buckcherry
"When The Heartache Ends" Rob Thomas
"So Yesterday" Hilary Duff
"You Oughta Know" Alanis Morrisette 
"Problem Girl" Rob Thomas
"I'm Gonna Getcha Good" Shania Twain
"It's All Coming Back To Me Now" Celine Dion
"Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" Elton John
"Her Diamonds" Rob Thomas
"Breathe" Michelle Branch
"Stupid Girl" Garbage
"Bitch" Meredith Brooks
"Crazy Bitch" Buckcherry
"Everything" Buckcherry
"Open My Eyes" Buckcherry
"Sleeping Angel" Stevie Nicks
"You Can't Always Get What You Want" The Rolling Stones
"Gimme Shelter" The Rolling Stones
"Emotional Rescue" The Rolling Stones
"Ruby Tuesday" The Rolling Stones
"No Scrubs" TLC
"Last Beautiful Girl" Matchbox Twenty
"You Won't Be Mine" Matchbox Twenty
"Not Like The Movies" Katy Perry

"Part Of Me" Katy Perry
"What Doesn't Kill You (Makes You Stronger)" Kelly Clarkson
"Someone Like You" ADELE
"Set Fire To The Rain" ADELE
"Rolling In The Deep" ADELE
"Grenade" Bruno Mars

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Mauled by my cousin's dog, yet my family could care less

Hello, world!!!! It's NocturnELLE once again. I'm writing this post after being awakened from a sound sleep by a bunch of clattering and other noises, most likely done by my uncle. Me, my mom, and my puppy Jagger are no longer at our house. It's been almost a month and it STILL doesn't feel like we're not coming back, it just feels like we're only staying somewhere else temporarily because we are getting our house remodeled or something. It's been a long time since I've  blogged and  A LOT has happened. 

On August 10th, I was attacked by my cousin's Jack Russell/Pitbull Mix, Kawi. Kawi is a very sweet dog, but is also a schizo dog as well. She is a rescue dog, which heavily contributes to her psychosis. I was upset and crying, and so I tried to walk outside when she started barking and biting me. For some reason, I couldn't get her off of me, and when I finally did, I ran out into my grandma's garage. I pulled up my pant leg and saw a huge CHUNK out of my leg. My mom started freaking out and rushed me to the ER. I was trying to stay calm, but was over-dramatic by saying I'd never be able to act again and what if my leg had to be amputated? THANK GOD IT WASN'T! Turns out she bit me in 3-4 spots on my leg and foot. I had to get 6 stitches in my leg, they couldn't close my foot at all or my leg up all the way because of infection risk, she bit my leg all the way to the muscle! I was lucky that they had me in and out of the ER. Due to the wound not being able to be fully stitched up, I'm gonna have to require plastic reconstructive surgery. It didn't help that my grandma wanted us to leave when we got back. My cousin, (the dog's owner that lives at my grandma's house) wasn't even here when I was attacked, she was at the gym. She sounded annoyed and didn't even ask if I was ok when my mom called her back on the way home. I told her I'm glad I didn't ruin her evening. She came and took Kawi before I got back from the hospital. I hate to say that this is NOT the first time the dog has bitten me. This is just the only time it was this bad. It was mandatory to fill out the papers for Animal Control since it was an animal attack, and they are being sent to CDC. Center for Disease Control, Good thing that Kawi has all her shots. I had to get a tetna shot before I got my stitched, ironically I just asked my mom if I needed one the night before. 

If my dog did that (which he never would), I'd be f**king hyperventilating and practically waiting hand and foot on that person. Jagger was trying to protect me from Kawi by pulling her off with his paws and forelegs.  Btw, there was a really cute nurse in the ER. ;] He was trying to pull her off of me with his paws. He was afraid of my crutches, which made me sad he won't come over because he was scared or something. I'm worried about his foot. He stepped on a fox tail a few weeks ago and now he has to wear a Winnie the Pooh baby sock.  Bree FINALLY texted me later that night when I got back. She said "How's the leg? Send me a pic" Here's a pic of Kawi's handiwork. That's before the stitches. It's mostly numb. Thanks for asking. O shit. K well I'm going to bed. Ill see you in the morning. Night. Love you... Yes, that made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside... I'm being a sarcastic ass. Is it me or it almost seems like she could care less? Like "I saw it, time to sleep!" I felt like Cirque Du Soelil doing this balancing act I had to do to get from Point A to Point B, mostly hopping around or on the crutches. 

I was so freaked out that even now I can still feel Kawi's teeth sinking into my skin. It was like when you take that first bit of a huge, juicy, succulent hamburger. It makes me cry to think about it. The dog, not the burger. I mean, I now have to get plastic surgery because of this little dog, and Brianna could care less. I mean this all happened because I was just trying to get some air because I was kind of cranky and whining. Again, Kawi is a Jack Russell terrier/pitbull mix, like Eddie on Frasier or My Dog Skip. Little Fun Fact: Both the dogs from Frasier and My Dog Skip are related. She really is a sweet dog, but she's a rescue dog, which means that she was abused, because she was. It also doesn't help that her teeth are rotting out of her head! She's a liability and Bree's responsibility. It would be the same as if it was her child, or GOD FORBID the tables were turned and my Jagger did that, it would be MY responsibility. My dad sounded really frightened and angry at the dog, but he was very proud of me how brave I was when I was bleeding and then got my stitches. Dad didn't care enough, because he whisked his new wife on a week long vacation to Belize a few days later. 

The morning after, Bree came home, tried to tell me I'll only have a scar instead of surgery, then she said "Thats retarded" when my mom told her that I definitely have to have surgery. She left and went to Starbucks, didn't even ask if we wanted anything.  Oh! I forgot that she told me to take the stitches out myself to save money. WTF?!? Even Grandma says that Bree is apathetic. Later on, since it is mandatory when a dog bites somebody from Animal Control stops by, the dog had to be quarantined for a week. My cousin and grandma managed to convince the officer that it was MY fault and there was a risk of the dog getting sick from biting ME. The quarantine guy already said it was my fault. 

I wrote to Bree's ex about it, because they share joint custody.Everybody in my family was being so mean to me and were more concerned over the dog than MY WELL BEING.  Bree could REALLY careless. Grandma told her to be more sympathetic. Even my attorney was more freaked out than Bree. My Aunt Kathy was nauseous from it and was calling every 5 minutes while we were in the ER. Then, Bree was writing on FB about how poor Kawi and telling everybody my mom and I were yelling and fighting and that Kawi went after me and when our hair stylist Becca asked if I was alright and another friend said it was a natural reaction for a pitbull to protect the pack, she replied with "Yeah she will be fine... Kawi got her pretty good tho... Pic are on her FB... Yep she is a protector." I put pix on my facebook, including of the dog, and Bree replied with "Aww my baby is so cute." Just to piss me off. We finally got into, when I gave her an ultimatum: To either replace the BRAND NEW pair of pants that I just got a day or 2 before the incident that were now ruined by the dog, to pay for the hospital bill, or to pay for the surgery, which I wouldn't even ask her to do. She kept insulting me and telling me to suck it up and telling me I'm spoiled and to go cry to my daddy. It really pissed me off, so my mom and I had to stay at a Motel 6. I was freaking miserable, until I got the stitches out last week. When my mom asked about the reconstructive surgery, the nurse said "That's the risk you take when you get a dog bite." WTF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!? IT'S NOT LIKE I ASKED FOR IT! AND NOW WITH THE LAWSUIT RESULTING THE WAY IT DID, WHO THE HELL KNOWS WHEN I'LL BE ABLE TO GET THE DAMN SURGERY. HERE'S A PICTURE DIARY OF MY INJURIES, LEAVE FEEDBACK. UNTIL I BLOG AGAIN, 
On my way to the hospital after being attacked 08.10.2011

After the hospital 08.10.2011




My attacker, aka KAWI. 08.11.2011

How I had to shower (and yes, that's Dinner For Shmucks in the background :P) 08.12.2011

1 Week Later 08.17.2011




Going to get the stitches out! 08.19.2011


The day after I got the stitches out 08.20.2011

8 Days after I got my stitches out 08.27.2011